Author: Mr. X

Government officials announced this morning that they approved plans for a new schedule for Lord Tweedsmuir Secondary and all schools in the district, effective September 2025. In an effort to maximize the efficient use of space, time and all resources, all schools will be adopting a year long and around the clock schedule.

There will be 3 different groups who will be assigned to one of the following schedules:

Schedule A: Monday to Saturday 9:00 AM to 5:00 PM
Schedule B: Monday to Saturday 5:00 PM to 1:00 AM
Schedule C: Monday to Saturday 1:00 AM to 9:00 AM

Sunday will be reserved for 24 Hour Detention, for students who have been late, absent, misbehaving, not completing homework, using cell phones, or not paying attention during the regular schedule. Students in Detention will be required to clean and maintain the school, as none of that will be done during the regular schedule.

This schedule ensures maximum use of the school building. Assignment for schedules will be based on an auction system, with preferred spots going to the highest bidders.

Anonymous sources have hinted that there will be no human teachers in the buildings during the school day, as all students will be learning via remote connections to AI instructors, but that has yet to be confirmed. Officials did acknowledge that security guards, contracted from local prison populations, would be patrolling the hallways so there will be at least some adults present.

Many observers were quite shocked by the announcement, however it was clear that pressure has been mounting from influential parent groups such as “Moms for Our Kind of Indoctrination” and “Dads for Schools that don’t let Children Mooch Off the Taxpayer.”